A Hosting company had a seemingly very impossible problem with a very expensive server machine. Staff engineers tried everything they could ever think of, but they couldn’t solve it. Very desperate, they contacted a retired engineer with  very excellent reputation for repairing all things technical.

The engineer spent 1 whole day studying the server machine. With a piece of chalk he marked the problem spot with an X. the part was then replaced, and the machine worked perfectly again. But the hosting company’s accountant received the engineer’s bill for $100,000 they demanded and did not tally his charges.  The engineer responded. “One chalk mark, $1.”knowing where to put it, $99,999.”

Strong wind and heavy rain had backed up all international and domestic flights in Hawaii, and as a result all airplane are sat on the runway for more than two hours. Capt. Jose came on the intercom to announced the possible delay of flights “Good morning folks. We’ll be getting permission to take off from air traffic control, But unfortunately to tell you that we’re 29^th in line for departure.”

As a enormous groan filled the aircraft, a flight steward took the mic and added, “Ladies and gentlemen please do co-operate with us please close all your window shades. We’ll soon be showing our inflight hit movie “Anger Management”

While doing renovation in poinks house, one of the construction worker paused to look at a flattering photo of my mother wearing makeup and some fancy beautiful gown. Poinks heard the man let out a low whistle and ask poink, “Who’s that.”

“That’s my beautiful mum,” Poink answered.

“Yummy,” the man said. “My mother doesn’t look like that.”

“Oh yes.” Poink said, “neither does mine.”

Bogs was preparing to teach a high school students on the history of movie and film censorship and went to the library to take out some films that had been censored.

“Good morning madam, do you have any banned films in your collection?” Bogs asked.

“Oh yes mister,” librarian answered. “We have some real exciting banned films.”

Bogs smiled with his eyes getting larger.

“That is so great.” Bogs replied.

“What would you like mister? Nsync? Westlife? Boys to Men?”

“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?” Bogs shout.

Bogs founded the hole in the Boarders Gang Camp for children stricken with AIDS, cancer and blood diseases. One afternoon he and his best buddy poink, stopped by to have lunch with the children.

A Mayor at a nearby the table, suspecting the young patients wouldn’t know that Bogs was a famous basketball star, well explained, “He is the man who made this camp possible. Probably you’ve seen his beautiful picture on his soda bottle?”

Well, you’ve probably seen his face on his cereals carton.” A ten-year-old boy perked up. “How long was he missing?”

Poinks mother went into a pet shop and said, “I’d like a cute little dog for my cute little son.”

“Miss, I’m so sorry,” the proprietor replied, “but we don’t do swaps.”

Bogs mother talks to his teacher and said “My son Bogs is a sensitive beautiful kid. If you about to punish him, just slap the boy in the next row. That will frighten Bogs.” Teacher said “wtf?”

Every Saturday, Poink left home early in the morning, regardless of the weather, to play his beloved sports “golf” - except for one day when the rain and wind were too much even for him.

Poink returned home, undressed and snuggled up to his wife in bed, saying “It’s terrible out there.”

“I can hear it,” she said. “Can you believe that my stupid husband is out there playing golf?”

“I’ll just give you a local anaesthetic,” said the doctor.

“Don’t worry about it,” Poink said. “Get the best. Use imported.”

Finally! After 25 years on a deserted island, Bogs was being rescued. As he climbed onto the boat, the curious crew noticed three small grass huts.

“What are those?” the crew asked.

“The first one is my home,” Bogs said. “The second is my church”

“What about the third hut?” the crew wanted to know.

“Oh.” said Bogs, “that’s the church I used to belong to.”